My date with another woman.

Baby in the belly

Last week I took the birth mom to the Doctor for another sonogram. We’re onto weekly appointments now and I will see her every Friday until the due date of 1.9.10.

We checked in and she rushed off to the restroom. I guess these things happen when you are 35 weeks into a pregnancy. I sat with my back to the receptionist and took note of all the pregnant women in the room. Actually, this is the third seat I took.

At first I decided on a love seat with a floral print and no signs of swine flu with room for two. Once seated, I wasn’t sure how close we should sit. We’ve known each other for more than a month now and have had several times alone together but with all the other moms in the room and the floral print and maybe she doesn’t like love seats.
I got up and moved to a couch for three leaving room for the holy ghost (as the nuns would say in grade school) but then I realized it was out of sight of the bathroom and feared she wouldn’t see me and think we backed out. Then I chose a real comfy love seat with several empty chairs to the right and left and ample magazines to choose from. All this was done in the span of about 60 seconds. All the pregnant moms were watching me. “This guy has some serious nesting issues.” I assumed they were thinking.

Phew, I took my seat.

“Mr. Lebowski.” The receptionist called out. Apparently at me. (Her name isn’t Lebowski although that would be great. We’d have to name our son “Duderino.”)

“Mr. Lebowski.” The receptionist called out. Again.

I wasn’t paying attention. Nothing in my life had trained me to respond to any names other than my own. The pregnant moms were still looking at me. I assumed it was because I was so selective in my choice of seating. “That man knows how to pick out a chair!”

“Mr. Lebowski!” She called out again, while tapping me on the shoulder. “Mr. Lebowski! I’ve been calling your name. What is Mrs. Lebowski’s maiden name?”

“Uh, I don’t know.” I answered thinking I should have never left the first love seat. I would have seen her calling my name – her name. Her husbands name. The other Jeffrey Lebowski.

“You don’t know what a maiden name is or you don’t know your wife’s maiden name.”

“Um. I don’t know.” What is taking Mrs. Lebowski so long! “Actually, my wife and I are adopting her child. I’m not Mr Lebowski.”

If this was her name, I would have followed it with. “I’m the dude.”

Once in the sonogram room the seat dilemma continued. Several seats and several computer screens to watch the images on. Like a sports bar… I wanted to ensure I had a nice view of the action.

And then.

“Okay, why don’t you take your pants down a little.” The nurse said.

“Um.” I uttered from my perch at the foot of the bed. “Is there a better place I should sit?”

“No, you’re fine there. You’ll have a good view of the screens.”

“It’s not the view of the screens I’m concerned about.” I gasped.

I moved to the head of the bed and had a great view of the monitor during the process. It really was amazing experience but with conflicting emotions. I wasn’t sure if I should allow myself to get emotional? The baby is in her body… It may be my son? Does she want to know I’m involved? Would it make her sad? Such emotions! Luckily, I was at the head of the bed an able to enjoy the time privately.

Our son showed up beautifully as the nurse moved the wand around the belly and snapped pictures. At 35 weeks he measured 5 lbs and 21 inches. Lots of hair and all the organs passed the test. I think he kind of looked like me.

Now we wait.

  • Tara Leavitt

    Wow that is very touching…I am so happy for you guys and hope this works out for the best!! What an amazing story you are writing and living!! I am happy the baby is healthy and that you are able to be there with this woman carrying your baby!! Best of Luck to you and your wife!!

    • Thanks Tara… it has been an exciting time!